</h1> <article> <h1>Man Raped On Plane. Shocking!!!</h1> <p>Chet — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 20:16:37 +0000</p> <p><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kPQxlmUhnxY?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0x402061&color2=0x9461ca"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param></object></p> </article> <article> <h1>Gay Dentist Elf</h1> <p>Chet — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 15:55:56 +0000</p> <p>Hermey the elf…what can I say? Oh yeah, he likes boys. Hermey is having a difficult time leaving the comforting confines of his elf closet. You see, Hermey, unlike the other elves, does not enjoy working with toys….although I have reason to believe he is skilled with the monkey wrench. Just look at how gentle Hermey is while handling Rudolph’s nose and imagining it were a………..Shhh! We can’t say penis. Aside from sexual preference, Hermey appears to be the only elf with hair….and what a hair style! Emo hadn’t even been invented, yet this ahead-of-the-curve, aspiring dentist had already coined the long bang swoop that so many emo children enjoy today. Im done talking about Hermey. </p> <p></p> </article> <article> <h1>Paris Hilton, Coke Head</h1> <p>Chet — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 23:14:04 +0000</p> <p>Paris Hilton….a coke head? Least shocking thing I’ve heard since Ricky Martin admitting he was gay. What happens when you’re given everything? You “blow” it. What a great pun. Seriously though, was this the least bit shocking to anyone? How has this changes my view on Ms. Hilton? It hasn’t. I still want to makeout with her. </p> <p></p> </article> <article> <h1>Best Display Of Homoeroticism By A Straight Male</h1> <p>Chet — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 04:42:17 +0000</p> <p>Video from the 2009 Soup Awards on E! Joel McHale, after several consecutive weeks of “Not Gay Chet” jokes, decided to fly me out to LA to receive this highly coveted award….</p> <p><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZEj-oOAPHJM?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0x402061&color2=0x9461ca"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param></object></p> </article> <article> <h1>Back Off, Biatch</h1> <p>Chet — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 16:38:25 +0000</p> <p>Some people are the antonym of conversationalist. When you find yourself in the room with such a person, the encounter is both disturbing and unsettling. </p> <p><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/TFJtGaGCKAM?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0x402061&color2=0x9461ca"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param></object></p> </article> <article> <h1>Your Boobs Look So…..Nasty Nast</h1> <p>Chet — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 04:51:50 +0000</p> <p>Decided to go out last night with my friend Giglianne and we stopped by some party over at Trousdale in Hollywood. Long story short, a friend of mine was there and introduced me to his friend…..this chick was beat!!! Haha. Immediately I had to look away, due to unprecedented laughter. I guess most people would describe her as a Barbie looking type, however, for me, it was a toss up between Barbie and a pile of dog sh*t. Milk: It does a body good. Plastic Surgery: It did her body bad….bleh. Where do I start? How about the Ta Tas…..MASSIVE. Her waiste was also ridiculously small, but more in an anatomical anomaly kind of way….freaky to say the least. Lips….not cute…..very much like the lady in the Delta Safety Video’s lips. Suffice it to say, she was a hot mess. Some people….I just don’t understand where the mental state is when making such extreme and ill-calculated decisions. </p> <p></p> </article> <article> <h1>Really? I’m in better shape than YOU.</h1> <p>Chet — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 03:30:30 +0000</p> <p>“Your form is all wrong.”<br /> “Excuse me?”<br /> “You”re form….it’s off and will preclude optimal muscle growth.”</p> <p>Gross. Don’t you hate that? You’re sitting at the gym and instead of the “random” working on his own body, he decides to be your uninvited, fitness mentor. And the worst is, his ass isn’t even in good shape. It’s a timeless tale. The people in the worst shape, seem to know the ins and outs to fitness. This begs the question, why then, are they out of shape? Because they’re too damn lazy to implement the teachings into their own lives. Believe me, it’s a whole lot easier to tell someone what they’re doing wrong than to actually make an effort to burn of that super sized meal and diet coke. </p> <p></p> </article> <article> <h1>Seriously, shut up.</h1> <p>Chet — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 14:57:36 +0000</p> <p>Do you have someone who, just because you were kind to them once, thinks you’re their best friend? Months ago, my roommates had a gathering at our apartment and many people showed up. There was, however, one girl who didn’t seem to engage in conversation as much as the other kids. She was hovering over the “munchies” table, pounding down cookies. Seriously, I mean, she was double fisting snacks, like the greedy kid who is so worried he/she won’t get their fill. Hate those kids. To be nice, I introduced myself, and hell, If I would have known that a simple hello would equate to an hour+ of me, pretending I even care this girl is still alive, I would have just slapped the cookies away from her face and went to bed. Let’s fast forward 3 months to the get together the other night. I walk in, trying to scope the scene, and wouldn’t you know, lonely girl is there and B lines it for me. Within minutes she’s talking about her favorite grocery store (Whole Foods). Okay? Why would I want to talk about fresh produce? So, I tell her I’m partial to Trader Joe’s (simply to kill the convo) and this freak goes off about the quality of Whole Foods’ Baked Ziti. Baked effing Ziti….Really? Bottom line, hindsight is 20/20. For the future, when you see Queen Lonely Hearts at the “munchies” table, turn on your Helen Keller, and pretend she isn’t there. </p> <p></p> </article> <article> <h1>Special Thanks To Effortless Humor</h1> <p>Chet — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 17:18:28 +0000</p> <p>I was reading through an online thread the other day with regard to Lindsay Blohan/cocaine and jail…and was pleased to come across one man’s “take” on the recent events in Lindsay’s hero-to-zero excuse for a life. Some people are so effortlessly hilarious and this blog’s for you! Thanks for the smiles.</p> <p></p> </article> <article> <h1>Tell Your Dad About His Sexual Endeavors, Sweetie.</h1> <p>Chet — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 04:24:53 +0000</p> <p>Remember when you heard your parents having sex and your Dad made you describe the entire sexual exploit? 1:55-2:00 is particularly Amazing. </p> <p><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Xp2YrRtVYzs?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param></object></p> </article> </main></body></html>