Few things make me happy in this world. Some might include: The Power Glove, knowing someone has wet socks and I don’t, turtle doves, and balloon animals (like the one below). I don’t know who you are or from whence you came, but if I could ever meet you, I would say “Thank you…….Dammit.” I think that might effectively sum up the emotions felt internally when my eyes first laid sight upon said masterpiece. I’m not okay with one-hit-wonders. Are you trying to be the next Chumbawamba? Their lyrics still resonate “I get knocked down, but I get up again.” Sadly, Chumbawamba never got back up again. Don’t be Chumbawamba version 2.0.
The Soup Awards!
Kill me now! Seriously. I have always wanted to go out on a high note and fortunately, I achieved that elevated peak of success when I stole the award for: Best Display of Homoeroticism last night at The Soup Awards in LA! It truly was a joyous occasion. Aside from meeting Joel, “coming out” of a closet in my segment, and receiving a golden tin can (my award), I will have to say that the pinnacle of the evenings festivities goes to The Pickup Artist 2 cast member, Brian Ly’s teleprompter reading skills. I am Brian Ly? OMFG! Without going into too much detail, Brian was so excited about getting through his lines, that he even decided to read the emotion and exit cues, such as ” Brian says sarcastically” and “Brian exits.” I was laughing so hard I almost peed in Joel Mchale’s pants. Brian, thank you. But who else to thank? Well….Joel Mchale and the staff at The Soup obviously… for having me on the show, the disconnection from my brain and mouth that translates all of my thoughts (unwillingly) into verbal communication….on national television, the editing team at Bunim Murray and MTV and their fine selection of questionable discussion, without which, I might never have made it on The Soup……ummm…… skinny jeans, scarves, the colors pink and purple. Thanks!
Where’s Chet (Pretend Chet rhymes with Waldo)?
Call Child Services!!!
What is wrong with some parents? I’m serious! I can’t imagine imagine having kids and then trying to live out all of my childhood dreams…..VICARIOUSLY….through my children. The Video below is one of the more pathetic attempts at pulling a Joe Jackson or Joe Simpson. I don’t get the little boys voice. Also, I offer no sympathy for the girl on the left who is clearly missing most of her teeth. Lame Dress Code as well. I want to see the “proud” parents… Oh stage parents, when will you learn? Sadly, they never do. I mean, if you don’t care about moral conduct and well….your kids that much, it can be very lucrative. Such was the case with Emanuel Lewis, Gary Coleman, Dominique Moceanu (my childhood crush), Corey Feldman, The entire Simpson and Lohan family etc. Suffice it to say, many parents don’t have to work because their kids will do it for them….. It is totally legal AND ethical I might add. So the moral of the story is…if you want to be rich and famous, be a Stage Mom. I’m going to be one and I think all of you should too.
Hmm….Why Do We Love These People So Much?
Why do we love these floating heads below so much? Hmm….Maybe it’s the flawless bone structures? Maybe it’s the boyish good looks? I was going to say something about the hair…..but….no. Couldn’t be the hair, could it? Weird. Maybe our passion for such heartthrobs isn’t superficial at all and we truly admire the way they excelled in both the television and film capacity. 2 of them have gone the way of the earth….that kinda puts a damper on the spirit of things. Early-mid nineties heartthrobs….why do you tease and torment us so? Remember Teen Beat and Tiger Beat and about 10 other Teen magazines all ending with Beat? Yeah…..I do too. Well, let’s just enjoy the eye candy.







